I feel so worthless and i can't help it. I like the idea that people are meant to be lonely, that loneliness is a natural human state. I find it comforting, and it makes me feel okay. I feel like I'm in my teens again, this time with proper angst and questioning the world and myself thing. And this is really embarassing. I don't believe that anybody's figured it out. And it doesn't help. I don't want to act weird or depressed. It's just that this strange realization hit me. I feel like I've finally understood the grand design, which I obviously fucking have not. Thing is, I don't feel happy, I don't think it is possible unless in hindsight, and this kind of attitude kills all of my chances.